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Are you Unique? “Dare to let the real you shine through” is the message by Teresa Tayag, Trainer, Speaker, Public Speaking Coach and blog author of Let the Real You Shine Through. I agree that the conventional guidance given to people who want to give talks does not emphasize bringing forth what is unique about you. Should You Put on a Performance or Share Who You Really Are? The advice about what to do and what not to do is related to putting on a performance rather than sharing who you … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Find Your Voice Tagged With: Authentic Speaking, Authenticity, Being Real, Essential Self, Fear of Speaking

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Responding to a participant who completed my Leadership Presence course and who wondered about her tendency to deny her own power as it related to gender, I wrote the following: Leaders are Open to Learning “If you noticed any shying away from your power, then it can become a treasure chest of discovery. At this level of leadership where you are much more committed to being in presence and engaging with people and delivering content from a place of deep knowing … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Find Your Voice Tagged With: Change Your Life, Fear of Speaking, Leadership, presence, Speaking Circles

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My book, Essential Speaking: The 7-Step Guide to Finding Your Real Voice, is being translated into French by Brendan Flanagan who is practicing the 7 Steps to Essential Speaking with a peer group. He wondered about the phrase “essential self” and asked if I had invented it. I told him that I did not invent this concept and went on to explain that my in-depth work on myself (psychotherapy/spiritual practices/personal development) led me to discover many paths to the self that I believe … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Find Your Voice Tagged With: 7 Steps to Essential Speaking, Essence, Essential Self, Essential Speaking, Overcome Fear of Speaking

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How Conventional Public Speaking Training Misses the Point Conventional public speaking training tells people who are afraid of audiences to look at a spot on the back of the wall and avoid the listeners. The problem with this technique is that the wall isn’t interested in your message and it won’t give you a response. You miss the opportunity to hand-deliver your words and be with people as they receive them. Ignoring the audience by focusing your attention somewhere else leaves your … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Find Your Voice Tagged With: Anxiety, Essential Self, Eye Contact, Public Speaking

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The 7-Steps to Essential Speaking all begin with “Be” (Be Silent, Be Present, Be Aware, Be Attuned, Be Positive, Be Connected, Be Yourself). Notice that there is no focus on what you say. I believe that at the core of public speaking anxiety is the fear of being yourself in front of others. This is why I work on a deeper level and help you discover who you really are rather than give you techniques that mask nervousness. Genuine Connection is the Key to Confidence Unlike the conventional … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Find Your Voice Tagged With: Authentic Self, Essential Speaking, Fear of Speaking, Public Speaking Anxiety, Real Voice

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Public Speaking is a Series of One-to-One Conversations Approach public speaking as more of a “me-to-you” discussion rather than a full-blown broadcast, suggests G.I. Taylor in the Fear of Speaking blog. I agree with the idea of seeing yourself talking to one person at a time when you are in front of groups. When you master this, speaking to an audience becomes a series of conversations with one person. The work then becomes learning how to connect and be present with an … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Find Your Voice Tagged With: Anxiety, Connecting, Fear of Speaking, Public Speaking, Speaking Circles, Stage Fright

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“Most important rule… be yourself!” FastUpFront Blog in their article, “5 Essential Public Speaking Tips for Non-Public Speakers,” wrote about this number one rule. But how do people discover who they are? As a psychologist, I believe you need safe learning environments to explore and develop yourself. So much of our social training growing up has been to hide our natural responses and put on a mask. No wonder when people stand in front of a group, they feel exposed and … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Find Your Voice Tagged With: Be Yourself, Confidence, Public Speaking, Speaking Circles

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We are all public speakers. Whether you are giving a presentation at work, sharing your opinion at a meeting, or talking to someone one-on-one, you are expressing yourself. The question is, do you feel comfortable and confident being who you are? These 7 steps help you focus on what really matters in any communication—your authentic self. 1. BE SILENT – always start from a place of silence. Quiet yourself. Being comfortable without any words is powerful. 2. BE PRESENT – Focus … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Find Your Voice Tagged With: Confidence, Connection, Essential Speaking, Fearless Speaking, Public Speaking

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After one of our recent trainings on Relational Presence, a seminar that focuses on overcoming the fear of public speaking, one of the participants watched his video and reported witnessing his transformation from fear to authenticity. “I remember going to see the film ‘Bambi’ as a kid, and I remember that scene when he gets on the ice for the first time. When I watched my videos, there was that same trembling creature inside of me. And who is he? He’s the … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Find Your Voice Tagged With: Authentic Speaking, Authenticity, Essential Speaking, presence, Public Speaking, Self-Acceptance

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In my last blog post I said that "ums" and "ahs" are fillers that point to an underlying public speaking anxiety. Today I found an article written by Daniel Batten that gives people a tip on how to remove these fillers. Batten writes "remove all 'ums' from your language - and replace them with pauses. What I suggest is: Record yourself reading out a paragraph from any book. Read the same passage putting in "ums" and "ahs" at a conversational frequency. Read the same passage, replacing "ums … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Find Your Voice Tagged With: Anxiety, Confidence, Essential Speaking, Public Speaking, speech fillers