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Feel Weak when you Speak

Many people who get nervous when they speak in public tell me that they feel weak.

And, they feel weaker than the rest of the people in the room.

What happens when you feel weak?

Physically…

You’re not able to control…

  • the quiver in your voice when you’re strangled by anxiety.
  • your wobbly knees that are about to buckle underneath you.
  • the shiny beads of sweat that pour down your forehead.

Mentally…

You’re struck with negative thoughts.

“I’m not good enough.”

“I don’t have anything important to say.”

“Others can say it better.”

And, what about this one…

“I’m weaker than the rest.”

Examining Further

Let’s examine this last thought.

First, you’re comparing, and it’s a comparison that places others above you.

You might be comparing yourself to the people who are in the room listening to you. Or you might compare yourself to some generalized group of people…co-workers, friends, idols, or anyone else.

Whoever it is you compare yourself to, you do not measure up.

But let me ask you this…

What if there is some truth in the thought that someone else could do better than you?

It just might be true that you are not able to command attention, or deliver in the way someone else might.

Maybe you haven’t yet worked with a coach who can support you in finding the strength to be who you are and speak with confidence.

The Real Problem

The real problem is not that you experience yourself as weak. The real problem is that you are comparing yourself to someone else.

I can admit that when I look around and see speakers like Brené Brown or Tara Brach, my mind can start comparing.

We share the same values of vulnerability and authenticity. Together we believe that mindfulness can free individuals to step into who they really are.

And yet, my mind can say…

“They are both so compelling when they speak… full of wise words and stories that rise easily from their hearts,” and… “I’m not on a big stage giving a tedx talk,” and… “What am I doing teaching others how to overcome the fear of speaking?”

“Am I really weaker than the rest?”

These questions and this kind of thinking begin to take me down a track that does not empower me. I’ve heard it called “stinking thinking.”

I need to catch those stinking thoughts as they start to grab hold. I need to take myself off of that negative track, and put myself on a new set of tracks that can bring me back to my truth.

The truth is that I am exactly where I am, in my element, happy to be sharing what I have learned.

And, I believe you can also choose which track to be on.

You can see yourself as riddled with faults, or you can be compassionate and practice self-acceptance.

If there is personal development work to do (and there always is), you can seek support.

What I’m getting at is this…

When you have the thought of being weaker than the rest, catch it. And, just because it may be true, it does not mean that you are less than the other person.

You can speak from strength, and this potential lies within you. To learn more Click Here for my Coaching Programs.